Sociologists call life-threatening and chronic illness a biographical disruption whereby “the structures of everyday life and the forms of knowledge which underpin them are disrupted. It involves a recognition of the worlds of pain and suffering, possibly even of death, which are normally only seen as distant possibilities or the plight of others” [1].
What a wondrous opportunity to reach “deep in yourself for a deep answer” as the poet Rilke advises [2]. Brave self-inquiry exposes the “person within — the reflexive, immaterial, communicable essence of a person that is located deep within the body“ [3].
How, for example, has my heart been stirred? How has my understanding of suffering been affected? What’s it like to have brushed up against mortality? What does it mean to have leukemia? How do I respond (now) to illness stories of others?
May this undertaking
guide me towards the realization that my life span is continuously decreasing and death will come whether I am ready or not. [4]
.
[1] Rilke, R. M. (1984). Letters to a young poet. (S. Mitchell, Trans.), p. 6. Vintage Books (originl work published in 1936). [2] Bury, M. (1982). Chronic illness as biographical disruption. Sociology of Health and Illness, 4(2), 167-182. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/1467-9566.ep11339939 [3] Leibing, A. & Cohen, L. (2006). (Eds.). Thinking about dementia: Culture, loss, and the anthropology of senility, p. 242. Rutgers UP. [4] Based on the Nine Contemplations on Death by the 11th century Buddhist scholar King Atisha: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mara%E1%B9%87asati Image: “Wanderer above a sea of fog” by Kaspar David Friedrich (1818).
/fusion_text]
Hi Peter: Thank you for this post. V helpful. Sending you the very best wishes for the best and successful treatment outcome. Sandy
I loved this! It gives me peace. And it’s so nice to read a current post from you Peter, I hope you’re feeling better every day. Thank you for sharing with us all.
A nice coincidence to get your email after earlier this morning doing your Loving Kindness mediation!
Regardless of our physical or spiritual form or bodily container on this planet and your love and concern for all of us and all beings, all our prayers and energy will continue to resonate in the universe always and the light, love and blessings will continue to perform their magic across all time, space and eternity. Namaste ~!~
Yes exactly, I get this so well.
My father’s terminal and metastasizing cancer was a tremendously vicious awakening to my own mortality and of those I love dearly. He died just about a year ago and over this year I have agonized over my mother’s eventual mortality as that will leave me an orphan all alone in the world with no one to love me except myself which, is never easy for me.
Since his death I have known the fear of dying myself, the fear that I will lose my mother one day and the pain that will accompany all of this. I have become more aware of others pain and suffering around death and curiously I never was until it came home to me. Now I see it everywhere in movies, in books, on the news, in the paper and take a very emotional view of the loss. I relive my loss through theirs.
“death will come whether I am ready or not.” This is the exact sentiment I am experiencing even though I am healthy I have become a tad fixated on death as I am a sensitive person.
What am I to do? Nothing I can do, but live each day in the present as I feel my fear is heightened when I start to live in the future. Everything and everyone I love is still here today as am I.
This is the only way I can cope and make peace with my new-found fear of the death of loved ones and of there presence in my life.
All we can do is live for what we love here and now. Just here, just now, nothing else matters.
Maternally, Ali
(we can all use more mother figures in our lives)
We can’t hold on to nothing. Although my so-called ‘small self’ continues to replay old story tapes of who I once was, how things used to be, who once loved me, and so on. In Buddhist parlance that’s delusion, one of the three poisons that cause suffering. More at https://www.lionsroar.com/what-are-the-three-poisons/.
A lot to unpack here if that’s even possible. I’m going with something akin to it equals up to more than the sum of its parts and includes the zillion things we’re not aware we’re not even aware of.
unpack one at a time — and the others will come tumbling alone. at least that’s my plan 🙂
probably as fine a plan as any – please do keep us apprised from time to time.As my Russian grandmother would chime ‘oy yoy, yoy’
On another note the John Lee Hooker song ‘We’re in the same boat brother’ came to mind – went to find it on the iot so I could send you the link but didn’t see it – I did click a few of his other tunes – diversion well worth it, if you feel like listened to some fine blues.