with the wind

Karla’s great-nephew, age 3

On this rainy day the tree wept.

Today Karla’s ashes (see previous post) were interred at the foot of a 100-year old beech tree. Eventually a small sign will be attached, giving her name and dates. All over rural Germany, families can lease a tree in community forests for 20 years. When I raised the topic of burial at a three-generation family gathering a proverbial hush descended around the table. I pushed a little, then let it go, sensing a fear of “speaking it into existence”. But the seed had been planted and several days later we went to look at trees and talk about practical details.

For suggestions on how to start a dialogue about death with your family click here.

Since news of Karla’s death reached the abbot of my home monastery, her name, along with others, is called out during early-morning chanting, “for all beings in transition”. And in the evening, this 700-year old verse —

Life and death are of grave importance —
impermanent and swift.
Wake up, all of you.
Do not waste your life.^*

To assist from afar I sent strings of prayer flags to each family household — borrowing a 2000-year old Tibetan tradition to let the wind disperse blessings of peace and compassion for the benefit of all beings. Although none of the recipients have a spiritual/religious practice, hanging the flags in their gardens triggered conversations with children and grandchildren. Lama Lekshe, my Tibetan teacher, drafted a fine blessing for me to translate and my oldest niece to read aloud. Here’s an excerpt from the English version:

. . . Karla, you have returned to the birthplace of light and sky, /and the gentle hand of fate. / The sun, the stars, lighting your path with love, as before, / showing you the way—beckoning, as love does. / We, too, will follow, one by one, / richer for having shared a birth, a life— / Our separate journeys threaded together again, / stronger and more complete in union, as love always is, / when we allow it to be. / We are better exactly because of our differences. / Our lives are gifts to each other / and to those who come after. . . .

In lieu of individual replies:

Please accept my gratitude for your heartfelt messages of condolence.

* Dogen Zenji 道元禅師 (1600-1653), founder of the Sōtō Zen school in Japan and my spiritual great-great-great-etc.-grandfather. This version in: Takahashi, Kazuaki. (2015). Zen chants: Thirty-five essential texts with commentary, 48.