Disappointment ~ feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations. (Cambridge Dictionary)
Life’s filled with let-downs at every turn. On a good day, we take them in stride as “such is life.” But ever so often one claws its way into our heart, causing anguish and hurt. We might add blame to the mix, as in “Stupid me” or “Unkind he/she/they.” Ring any bells?
According to ancient teachings, ‘suffering’ arises when what we would like to happen fails to materialize. Nothing is certain: everything and everyone is flawed, ourselves included. The antidote — freeing ourselves from suffering and growing into our true nature — starts with facing life’s messiness head-on.
In spite of age-tempered intentions I recently stumbled into a wishful-thinking-may-lead-to-suffering trap. With the help of my counsellor, I soon realized that my suffering arose from old wounding which triggered feelings of unworthiness.
The Buddha also taught about ‘cessation of suffering’. Here’s a meditation tool that, for me, acts like a healing ointment. The instructions are —
Acknowledge the suffering, the hurt, the unfairness of it all.
Name it for what it is.
Be with it, either sitting or lying down, with hand(s) on your heart and/or belly.
Generate compassion for yourself — yes, this hurts and you deserve to be loved.
And then, direct attention to the out-breath, long and deep*, allowing the holding to gradually soften, letting tension to flow with the exhale.
Stay with this practice for a while, move Monkey Mind into the background, hold bodily sensations in the foreground. Enter into the purest emotional experience of this moment. As my counsellor put it,
“You yearn to love and be loved. Feel into that truth. There is beauty and nobility in what you feel. Let it wash over you.”
May this practice be an antidote to your suffering. May you be at ease.
* For guidance on long and deep breathing, turn to post #6.
Thank you for making the time and effort to post these simple helpful notes; the . . . guided meditations have also been very beneficial at a time I need them.
“You yearn to love and be loved. Feel into that truth. There is beauty and nobility in what you feel. Let it wash over you.” So much truth in this statement. So much emptiness in the reality of that truth.
Thank you Peter. I needed this, in the exact moment I read it.
Thank you! This is just what I needed today
These are thoughts that are perpetually seeking certainty. The more we try to know the future – which is of course unknowable – the more fearful and and anxious we feel.