Good, just as you are

A recent conversation with a Zen monk touched on how the Buddha’s teachings inform our ways. For me, I explained, it comes down to the Pure Precepts which call us to Do Good and Not Cause Harm. To which my host added that “realistically, the best we can aim for is to do as little harm as possible.”

At night, before falling asleep, I bring to mind a vow I made 15 years ago: to be of service. Not to be perfect or walk on water, but to do my best in every situation. And to realize that my thoughts, actions, and words have karmic effects. A seemingly simple undertaking, this being of service. Even the best of intentions won’t keep me from causing hurt and unhappiness and, afterwards, berating myself for (still) not being good enough. Right there and than, at the boundary of self-loathing and spaciousness, happiness awaits.

As I get older (and a little wiser, yes), I find that the cultivation of generosity towards others must start right here, in this moment, this body. It requires courage to accept my so-called flaws and shortcomings. “Welcome everything; push away nothing,” the ancients remind us. Practicing self-compassion is neither self-ish nor self-indulging. It is, in fact, a mandatory step towards reclaiming our innate goodness.

Mary Oliver writes —

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

From “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver © 1986 Grove/Atlantic